You know that belief, that when you tell the universe what you want, its provides it? Well ladies and gents that’s exactly what happened to me; I was thinking of having a boyfriend and the universe, in the person of Kosi, gave one to me– well sort of.
When Kosi told me about seducing Chima all I did was stare back at her with my mouth agape, unable to fully comprehend what she was asking of me, so she gave me till the weekend to get an answer back to her.
I didn’t need a fucking week, I didnt even need a second to think about her proposal. I wanted to scream NO! then and there. Who in their right mind agrees to be in a leaked sex-tape?
No-fucking-body! That’s who.
But lets access the facts: Firstly, I and I alone (with no help from my village people o), opened my Big mouth to offer help. As if that was not enough, I’m bounded to our unspoken girl code:scratch my back, i’ll scratch your back.
I’ve lost count of the times Kosi had scratched my back, and to refuse now when she’s the one in need of the “scratching” would paint me in a black darker than the bottom of mama Gloria’s cooking pot.
As if to add sand to my already salted garri, there and then Lizzy and Chioma ganged up on me, pressuring me to accept. I wasn’t surprised, nah, It was expected; they wanted to make sure I agreed to avoid the task themselves. If I was to refuse (which would definitely put me in Kosi’s black books till God knows when), one of them would have to take the responsibility of being the seducer, after all the secret can’t leave our circle –The seducer has to be one of us.
All through the week I was trying to wrap my head around what “seducing” Chima really entailed:
- Would I need to really date him or was it be a “one night stand” kind of arrangement?
- Would there be “standard” precautions to ensure(with a capital “E”), that my identity would be hidden?
- How exactly are we going to film the whole thing? WHO exactly was going to film it?
- And most importantly, What colour of coffin would I need to get when the video finally gets leaked, and I get recognized some other way (my village people would definitely be responsible for this), and my family (especially my Mom) kills me?…Maybe dark brown.
Kosi dropped the bomb-of-a-request on me on Tuesday, I was blank all through Wednesday to Friday and that was when I decided to recruit help.
” So that’s it…” I said looking at a keenly interested Shedrack, ” What would you do if you were in his shoes?”
“Wait…let me get this straight. A friend of yours was asked to fuck his friend’s ex-girlfriend and leak a video of the act?”
“Yeah…messed up right?” I said in a tone that sounded nothing like mine.
“Absolutely!” He bawled.
I didn’t want to lie to Shedrack, but I wasn’t one to put another persons business out in the open, and also I didn’t want Shedrack knowing about my unplanned debut into the porn industry.
“First and foremost, I don’t support the whole sex-tape trend nonsense that most guys seem to be partaking in recently; Its childish and plain stupid!” He stated.
“So my friend shouldn’t do it??” I asked quietly.
“Do you even have to ask? Hell no! He shouldn’t!” He took a big sip of his Heineken; I just looked at his Adam’s apple bob while a chilled star radler– with my name on it– sat on the glass centre table. I needed a clear head to think, and alcohol was at the bottom of my what-i-need-to-get-me-out-of-this-mess list.
” But from the way he explained it, the ex-girlfriend in question was very terrible.” I muttered.
Shedrack, who was about to drop his drink on the table, paused midway as he stared at me with an incredulous look in his eyes, his right brow raised to a level I’d never seen in all our years of friendship.
“Are you for real right now?” He snapped.
I didn’t answer…I knew I’d fucked up, and when you fuck for any reason whatsoever, your safest bet is to play the deaf and dumb card.
“Amara even if she was the devil herself, it doesn’t make it right. For crying out loud, imagine if she was your friend, sister or …or even you?”
But that was the fucked up part, it was actually me(well not yet, but it would be once I accepted Kosi’s proposal). The details weren’t clear yet, but the bottom line was that I was to seduce an unsuspecting Chima to a “taped fuck” that would be broadcasted for all to see.
“I get it, you are right, the whole thing is stupid….Thanks Shedrack”
“Always come to me when your STUPID friends ask you STUPID questions. Okay?”
“Okay.” I muttered, trying to imagine the look on Kosi’s friend if she knew she was being called “stupid”.
At that point, I decided not to go along with Kosi’s plan, black book or not– as I sat there on Shedrack’s bed, him lying close to me with only his boxers on and his six pack out in all their glory – I decided to end the whole thing before it started.
We said nothing to each other for a while. Shedrack just stared at me for what seemed like forever, his eyes probably trying to bore into my thoughts, to discover the truth. So I looked away for fear that he might find them.
“You need to have a rethink on the kinds of friends you are keeping around you. I mean what kind of person would even consider doing such a thing?” He finally said.
I said nothing, i mean, what could I have possibly said? So I plastered a fake smile I hoped would end the conversation and took a big sip from my star radler, that somehow became very necessary.
“So what crazy stunts are the girls pulling off these days?” He asked casually.
I almost chocked on my drink.
“Nothing…absolutely nothing… just nothing.” I said too quickly.
He glared at me for what seemed like forever before he broke into a soft chuckle.
” Your wahala too much aswear. Na because of simple question way I ask na you wan finish all the ‘Nothing’ for this world?” He said with a smile tugging at his lips. I replied with a broad smile.
I felt much lighter as I stepped into Food Bite for dinner that evening, Who knew worrying could be such a heavy burden? I had wanted Shedrack to tag along, but Nadia was coming over, so that was an automatic no.
Immediately I stepped through the sliding glass doors, I knew something was different about Food bite.
First of all it was fucking quiet. I don’t know about your own school, but my school loooooves Amebo;everything worth talking about, gets talked about and nowhere was off limits (even during lectures). So to come into a restaurant (a very active Amebo spot) and find a quiet group of people, was as Strange as a supposed dead man ruling my country.
I quickly glanced through the faces to see if I could pick out someone I knew so that I could find out the source of this bizarre event and my heart dropped when I saw Kosi…sitting alone.
She had a plate of fried rice and turkey, but all she did was play around with the carrot and peas as she shifted them around her plate.
I wasn’t surprised about her sitting alone– every once in a while everybody wants some alone time, and with her current situation, it was very understandable– what got to me instead was the group of annoying-whispering mosquitoes that snickered every once in a while as they glanced at her direction briefly.
That was when all she had said came back to me, and then it hit me like a sac of yam– she was being ridiculed, just as she had predicted. Barely a week and blabbering mouth Chima had told the whole school community about them.
I didn’t want to agree to Kosi’s plan…I DIDN’T WANT TO. After leaving Shedrack’s place and listening to all he had to say I made up my mind to turn her down–black book or not. Turning down a friend’s request or petition or help or supplication, whatever its called, was never easy, but let’s be realistic here– Nobody in their right mind would agree to feature in a sextape that is to be leaked to the whole universe.
But then again, no reasonable person would watch their friend in pain and turn a blind eye.
“I’ll do it!” I said after I’d walked up to her table.
She looked at me with a look of gratitude and relief at the same time.
“Amara…” She flashed me her brightest smile, ” I knew I could count on you.”