SILENT ILLNESS

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The Four of us part 5

What can I do when the silence sets in
So deafening I can hear my heart beat
It’s more frightening than it has ever been
Once again I retreat

From life, filled with shame and a tear
Needing my soul to smile
Needing my mind to be clear
Even if it’s only for a while

I shout, I cry, I fight -I know life’s not kind-
My soul don’t listens and the silence is too loud
So what’s the point of trying to find
A place to belong, to feel proud

Of who I am and how far I have come
The highest of hills and the deepest of seas
Impossible to imagine for some
That I did it all, survived, with ease

But the price I pay is steep
Lost myself, but make others smile
Me, the fighter, inside I weep
Longing to belong, if only for a while

I despise the silence but it comforts me as well
Safe from hurt, I ignore the chains
And the emptiness, no one can tell
That I feel this way, that the longing remains

For i can not see -not spirits of my kind-
Perhaps it’s me who blocks my view
What my soul is looking for -It can’t seem to find-
Such a shame not knowing what to do

I open doors and lead the way
To my heart, my soul , me !
But no one never seems to stay
I look around , no one I see

I must be doing something wrong
To end up in the place I am
Too difficult , too weak, too strong?
I’m trying the best I can

To make my memories stay, to show I dare
It works for a while and I am free!
But when I search again, they’re not there
Yeah, it’s my illness I guess, it must be…

READ ALSO:  STILL.

Written and Composed by Elixir Michael

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